Why Big Change Feels So Hard And What to Do Instead- 5 Steps to Expand Your Comfort Zone

You want to change. Grow. Stretch into the next version of yourself.
So, you do what most of us do: You go all in.

You change your routine. Your habits. Your goals. Your environment.
You get fired up, make a list, and buy a planner.

And then you crash. You get overwhelmed. You “fall off the wagon.” And your brain quietly whispers, “Told you so.”

But here’s the truth:
It’s not your willpower that failed.
It’s your nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do—protect you from perceived danger.

The Brain Sees Sudden Change as a Threat

As a former trauma psychotherapist, I spent years studying how the brain works under pressure. And here’s what I can tell you with absolute certainty:
Your brain is wired for survival, not transformation.

When you try to change too much too fast, your amygdala (your brain’s threat detector) lights up. Your nervous system interprets those unfamiliar routines, new conversations, and bold ambitions as danger.
It doesn’t know the difference between a sabertooth tiger and a calendar full of cold calls.

So instead of charging forward, your body slows you down. You procrastinate. You numb out. You “forget.”
You aren’t lazy—you’re in protection mode.

Growth Feels Unsafe Before It Feels Empowering

If you want to grow, you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
That simple mindset shift started a journey of deliberate discomfort for me.

One of my biggest turning points came when I developed a training called The 7 Pillars of Self Discipline. It was personal, meaningful, and designed to help people make real change from the inside out.
But instead of playing it safe, I flew across the country to teach it—live—in front of a room full of agents, team leaders, and executives.

Was I nervous? Absolutely. I had never presented this content before on such a big stage.
But I also knew that stepping into discomfort was the only way I could grow—and truly serve.

And I did it. Not perfectly, but powerfully.
Because I had trained for it—through small, consistent reps of showing up, speaking up, and stretching my comfort zone.

Every time we do something that’s a little scary and a bit unfamiliar, we send a message to our nervous system:
You are safe here. You can do this.
And eventually, your comfort zone begins to expand.

Five Steps to Expand Your Comfort Zone

Here’s how you can start building change that sticks—by going small.

1. Choose one area where you’re avoiding discomfort.
Where are you playing it safe even though you know it’s costing you growth?
Networking? Prospecting? Delegating? Speaking up?

2. Identify the smallest possible step.
This should feel slightly uncomfortable, not paralyzing.
One conversation. One phone call. One 30-second introduction.

3. Start in a safe, supportive environment.
Don’t go straight to the stage. Start where it’s okay to mess up—with friends, mentors, coworkers, or even by yourself in the mirror.

4. Schedule it.
Not “someday.” This week. Put it in your calendar and treat it like a non-negotiable.

5. Do it—and notice what happens.
Don’t just evaluate performance. Pay attention to your body.
What felt safe? What felt scary? What shifted? Then repeat.

Tiny Risks. Big Rewards.

Real change isn’t loud or flashy—it’s often quiet and awkward.
But if you’re consistent, those little acts of bravery add up.

So ask yourself:
What are you avoiding—even though you know it would help you grow?

Your comfort zone is not a boundary—it’s a starting point.
And every time you lean into a little discomfort, you take one more step toward becoming who you’re meant to be.

You’ve got this. Just start small.