We Must Become That Which We Choose to Experience

I hear it all the time:

“I want more confidence.”

“I want to feel less stressed.”

“I want to be more disciplined.”

And the part that usually stops people in their tracks is that you can’t wait for those things to show up magically. You have to become the version of you who already lives that way.

It’s backward from how most of us think. We want the experience first. We want the medal before we train like a champion. We want the peace before we make the hard choices that create it. We want the freedom before we build the habits that allow it.

But in my experience as a former athlete, performance coach, it works in the opposite direction.

You become first. Then you experience.

Discipline Creates Freedom

When I was competing at the collegiate level, my schedule wasn’t glamorous. Early mornings. Long days. Six-hour practices. Homework late at night. Weekends gone.

People would tell me I was “lucky” because I was naturally good at gymnastics. But nothing about it was luck. The confidence and freedom I felt in competition came from the discipline I had in preparation.

It wasn’t just about training my body; it was about training my mind to show up, even when I didn’t feel like it. That’s when I realized: discipline is the highest form of self-love. It’s proof that you believe you’re worth the effort.

Resilience is Built in the Messy Moments

We all love the highlight reels, the wins, the breakthroughs, the moments where it all comes together. But the real growth happens in the parts no one posts about.

The missed routines. The failed attempts. The injuries. The setbacks that make you question everything. I’ve had them all. And as painful as those moments were, they forced me to become more resourceful, more adaptable, and more committed to my vision. I couldn’t just want resilience; I had to become the kind of person who naturally moved through challenges without losing sight of the bigger picture.

Your Identity Shapes Your Reality

Here’s the truth: if you want to experience something consistently in your life, whether it’s peace, success, impact, or connection has to become part of your identity.

That means looking at your habits, your environment, your inner dialogue, and asking: Does this match the life I say I want?

If not, it’s time to make shifts. Small ones, repeated over time, that align who you are with what you want to experience.

Who You Become is the Real Win

At the end of the day, the titles, the medals, the milestones, they’re great. But they’re not the point.

The point is the person you became along the way. The habits you built. The self-trust you earned. The way you showed up for yourself when it was hard.

You can’t shortcut your way to that kind of growth. You have to live it, one decision at a time.

So whatever you’re chasing right now, whether it’s a goal, a dream, or simply a better way of living, remember this:

Don’t wait for the experience to change you.

Become the person who naturally lives that experience, and it will find you.